Advice: Submissives
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| − | You should not read hoping to find out what it is you like. You | + | You should not read this hoping to find out what it is you like. You |
| − | can read and find yourself thinking "that sounds good" or "I don't think I'd like that" but always try to keep an open mind as something that sounds good may not turn out to | + | can read and find yourself thinking "that sounds good" or "I don't think I'd like that", but always try to keep an open mind as something that sounds good may not turn out to be, and something you don't think you'd like al all might get an inner response from you that you have no idea about as yet. |
| − | be and something you don't think you'd like might get an inner | + | |
| − | response from you that you have no idea about as yet. | + | |
| − | You are going to have to meet real people and [[play]] but make sure | + | You are going to have to meet real people and interact with them (perhaps [[play]]ing), but make sure you read up, or ask, how to do this safely. Whilst playing, it is true that the Dominant is formally responsible for your safety and condition, but no one could ever do so without information and your are responsible for providing that. Learn about [[SSC]] and [[RACK]]. Know what a [[Munches|Munch]] is. Find online [[discussion boards]] of interest. |
| − | you read up, or ask, how to do this safely. | + | |
| − | [[RACK]]. Know what a [[Munches|Munch]] is. Find online [[discussion boards]] of interest. | + | |
| − | Feeling lost is fine - this is not a cut-and-dried area to learn about, | + | Feeling lost is fine - this is not a cut-and-dried area to learn about, with lots of hints and views from childhood on. It's not like learning about cycling or fishing, but more like cooking: a very general and open-to-interpretation subject, with very individual tastes, although with some overall knowledge of what can work under what circumstances |
and what will never work. | and what will never work. | ||
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the one not asked. | the one not asked. | ||
| − | Once you have been to a few munches, met a few people or maybe you have gone on your first date bear the following in mind: | + | Once you have been to a few munches, met a few people, or maybe you have gone on your first date bear the following in mind: |
| − | #if you haven't seen someone play, ask | + | #if you haven't seen someone play, ask about them, or don't allow the situation to move quickly until you have an understanding of the person. Claims that you're 'not a true sub' unless you do this now are out of line. |
#if you don't trust someone, don't play with them. | #if you don't trust someone, don't play with them. | ||
#if they appear drunk, don't play. | #if they appear drunk, don't play. | ||
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#you have the right to say 'stop' | #you have the right to say 'stop' | ||
#no-one knows better than you what you can take. | #no-one knows better than you what you can take. | ||
| − | #It is ok to have a friend to 'spot' you. They can watch to check you are coping. | + | #It is ok to have a friend to 'spot' you in a public scene. They can watch to check you are coping. |
#if you are meeting someone in private, make sure you arrange a safety-call | #if you are meeting someone in private, make sure you arrange a safety-call | ||
| − | #be prepared for a reallly bad feeling like a drug come-down a few days after the event. | + | #be prepared for a reallly bad feeling like a drug come-down a few days after the event. (It's called sub-drop). |
| − | #if you need to talk, some comfort after the scene, ask for it. | + | #if you need to talk, or some comfort after the scene, ask for it. Play does not end with the last flogger strike. |
==See Also== | ==See Also== | ||
Revision as of 17:01, 25 July 2006
You should not read this hoping to find out what it is you like. You can read and find yourself thinking "that sounds good" or "I don't think I'd like that", but always try to keep an open mind as something that sounds good may not turn out to be, and something you don't think you'd like al all might get an inner response from you that you have no idea about as yet.
You are going to have to meet real people and interact with them (perhaps playing), but make sure you read up, or ask, how to do this safely. Whilst playing, it is true that the Dominant is formally responsible for your safety and condition, but no one could ever do so without information and your are responsible for providing that. Learn about SSC and RACK. Know what a Munch is. Find online discussion boards of interest.
Feeling lost is fine - this is not a cut-and-dried area to learn about, with lots of hints and views from childhood on. It's not like learning about cycling or fishing, but more like cooking: a very general and open-to-interpretation subject, with very individual tastes, although with some overall knowledge of what can work under what circumstances and what will never work.
Never fear asking questions. The only really stupid question is the one not asked.
Once you have been to a few munches, met a few people, or maybe you have gone on your first date bear the following in mind:
- if you haven't seen someone play, ask about them, or don't allow the situation to move quickly until you have an understanding of the person. Claims that you're 'not a true sub' unless you do this now are out of line.
- if you don't trust someone, don't play with them.
- if they appear drunk, don't play.
- it is ok to change your mind.
- you have the right to say 'stop'
- no-one knows better than you what you can take.
- It is ok to have a friend to 'spot' you in a public scene. They can watch to check you are coping.
- if you are meeting someone in private, make sure you arrange a safety-call
- be prepared for a reallly bad feeling like a drug come-down a few days after the event. (It's called sub-drop).
- if you need to talk, or some comfort after the scene, ask for it. Play does not end with the last flogger strike.
